Turtlenecks are so 2016. When you’re the nation’s most notorious woman — hounded by reporters, reviled by Twitter, portrayed by Jennifer Lawrence in a movie destined to be amazing —you need an everyday look that gives you anonymity, comfort and the ability to sprint on a moment’s notice.
You need athleisure. Just ask Elizabeth Holmes, the most famous blonde on bail to call our city home since Patty Hearst hid away on Nob Hill in the 1970s.
Following the Theranos founder’s recent move to Russian Hill while awaiting trial in a case that’s nearly a national obsession, Elizabeth Holmes sightings have become grist for gossip and social media chatter, and have even made it to TV’s Inside Edition. (“Can you set the record straight, is your voice real or is it fake?” asked the reporter as she stalked Holmes through Fort Mason, her fiancé and wolf-dog named Balto trailing behind.)
One local, thinking she saw Holmes working out at Barry’s Bootcamp, followed her into the bathroom just to make sure it was her. “What’s she doing in her spare time?” the woman later quipped. “She’s getting buffed for jail.”
So what does the woman, once known for a uniform of black turtleneck and trousers, wear to evade recognition on the streets of San Francisco? White T’s and black yoga pants, of course, adding gold aviators and a baseball cap to go truly incognito.
In other words, she dresses like the rest of us … though on her, even athleisure can seem slyly undercover.
Living Notoriously in San Francisco
Here’s our tongue-in-cheek guide to experiencing San Francisco when it seems the whole world is watching. We can’t promise you’ll spy the woman herself, but you’ll see some great options for developing your own infamous style.
Barry’s Bootcamp (six Bay Area locations):The hourlong Total Body class ($35) is one of the most demanding workouts out there. No wonder it’s so popular in Silicon Valley’s competitive high-achievement culture (famed tech investor Keith Rabois swears by it.) Four locations in San Francisco, plus Palo Alto and Burlingame; barrysbootcamp.com
Sweaty Betty London (Cow Hollow & Palo Alto): “No ifs, just good butts” is a favorite saying at Sweaty Betty, which sells a bum-sculpting legging ($100) made of a compression-tech fabric promising precisely that. The London-based brand has great high-end activewear to get you through your workout in style. 2086 Union Street, San Francisco. 415-202-0174; Town & Country Village, Palo Alto. 650-329-8325; sweatybetty.com
Loro Piana (Union Square): When you’ve banished black from your closet but still love a good turtleneck, Loro Piana is your nirvana. The Italian brand’s vicuña and baby cashmere sweater ($5,000) comes in five deliciously named shades like Plummy Melange and Velvet Denim. Get one of each! 233 Geary Street, San Francisco. 415-593-3303; loropiana.com
International Spy Shop (Marina): Whether you’re the most talked-about woman in the U.S., or just paranoid, this supplier of counter surveillance equipment also does bug sweeps, weapons training and polygraphs. It will even teach you how to pick a lock. 555 Beach Street, San Francisco. 415-775-4779; internationalspyshop.com
The Big 4 Restaurant (Nob Hill): No gawkers will spoil a romantic evening with your beloved at this Nob Hill classic, with its dim lighting, wood paneling and intimate booths.1075 California Street,San Francisco. 415-771-1140; big4restaurant.com
Bow Wow Meow (Russian Hill, SanCarlos & Menlo Park): The family-owned pet-supply shop does grooming, teeth cleaning, and even same-day delivery. Huskies welcome (but sorry, no wolves allowed). 2150 Polk Street, San Francisco. 415-440-2845; 737 Laurel Street, San Carlos. 650-802-2845; 654 Santa Cruz Avenue, Menlo Park. 650-323-2845; bowwowmeow.net